Game Change

I'd like to clear one thing up right away: I am coming back - indefinitely.
As some of you may have heard, "I" have decided to come back to my hometown and continue my education there. "I" is used loosely in this situation, because as those of you who I have talked with about this decision know, it was not "I" who initiated and finalized this.

About two months (or less) ago, God laid on my heart the idea of coming back to my hometown, and going to a local college to further my education. When the idea first came up, I completely disregarded it because going to the school I am attending now was going to be my future for the next four years.

Right?
Like He usually does (and has complete liberty to do so), God decided to mix up the game board a bit when I wasn't looking. He continued to poke and prod me with this idea until I was forced to look it in the face, no longer having the luxury of pushing it onto the back burner.

I sat on my hands for the next few weeks because I was completely perplexed about the whole concept. I had planned to live on campus for four years, and had accepted the fact that I was going to miss out on a lot of things that were happening back at home. I had come to grips with the fact that I was going to miss countless birthdays, wonderful plays, and other life changing moments in people's lives over the next four years. I had come to terms with the idea that my home was no longer going to be considered the place where my cats lived, and that was...ok. So naturally, you can see why when God first put this idea into my head, I was more than hesitant to entertain the thought.

I remember lying on the floor of my dorm (ew, I know), and thinking to myself "what am I going to do?" A lot of things had happened prior to this particular moment that may or may not have shaded my perspective on life right then, but I somehow just knew what was in store. I gave the next two weeks or so to God, making sure that I kept reading His Word and seeking His face in hopes that would end up revealing the right answer to me. I talked with several people about it to get insightful and wise advice. It came down to the question - "Why would God have me do this, and why can't I do that where I am at now?"

So to be quite honest and transparent, I have absolutely no answer to give you guys. I have no idea what God has in store for me over the next four years, but I am confident that if I continue to trust in Him and follow His instruction, He will use me for the enlargement of His kingdom.

I'd be lying if I said that I am going into this (or coming out of this, depending on how you look at it) without any doubt or fear. God has shown me so much in the mere one semester I've attending this school, and I am worried that I won't be able to find the same fellowship, learning experience, or environment ever again. I know that the Bible instructs us to follow Christ by faith, and not by sight, but it is definitely harder than it may appear. The next few months of my life will be full of tears, laughter, and a heavy heart - but that does not mean that I am not excited for the changes. Romans 8:28 says "For we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, and are called according to His purpose." My prayer is that I will continue to love Him and follow His direction so that I may fulfill the purpose He has for me.

In closing, I wanted to thank all of you who have supported me through this. As cliche as it sounds, I could not have done it without the encouragement you have given me.

I hope you are all having an absolutely wonderful week, and I shall hopefully blog again soon (if finals don't kill me first).